Shame

 Shame

What is shame? Shame can be the gatekeeper of every other emotion. The feeling that those emotions are wrong to feel.

What does shame feel like? Shame is the anxiety we feel. it is the knot in the stomach or the tightness in the chest or throat. We feel most anxious when we are most ashamed of the emotion we are trying so hard not to feel or deny is even there. The more we try to push away an emotion the more anxiety we feel. That is shame. It's the complete lack of safety we feel to even touch on an emotion. 

How do we overcome shame and anxiety? 

When we take a moment of silence, when we allow that anxiety to surface and question why it is there. What is it that is causing us to feel unsafe? What emotion lies beyond that? Fear? Anger? Grief?  Whatever it is, we have been taught that it is not right to feel that way. We must now teach ourselves that it is right. That it is safe. That we CAN feel that way and its ok. And we breathe through that. We offer ourselves compassion and empathy. We be the friend or the parent to ourselves that we need to be. We treat that vulnerable part of ourselves the way we would treat someone we really care about and we say to ourselves, all the things we need to hear. We clear away the negative self talk and we replace it with positive. We recognise the inner bitch and we replace it with someone who is loving. 

What we will be left with is a feeling of peace around a negative emotion. A feeling of safety around a negative emotion and because of that recognition, that emotion will slowly and gradually clear. It may show up again in waves but with practice, if won't appear with the same anxious intensity and with more practice, you will be at peace with each wave and with even more practice you will be able to show up to others emotions with that same level of love too.