Goodbye people pleasing

 I am no longer people pleasing

I am no longer apologising to keep the peace 

I am no longer avoiding conflict to keep the peace 

I am no longer tolerating behaviour where I am the scape goat in someone’s chain of pain

I will not tolerate projection or deflection,

Half hearted apologies, lack of accountability and an aversion to self reflection

I will not tolerate triangulation, gaslighting or any other emotional abuse tactics 

I will not tolerate bitter envy

I welcome in recognition and atonement.

I welcome In empathy. Real emotional empathy, not just a recognition of how I’m feeling but the ability to FEEL how I’m feeling.

I welcome in vulnerability

I welcome In honesty. Honesty with self and others

I welcome In true expression. Expression of feelings, passion, excitement, pain, creativity, whatever and whenever. I will never be ashamed of being around someone who is being their true authentic self.

If you want to run through the supermarket screaming or jump into the nearest river or walk bare foot through the woods. I’m there.

I welcome in perfect imperfections 

I will feel uncomfortable around those who contain their true authentic selves. Contain their passions, their feelings, their vulnerabilities. Not because I’m any better, but because I know from experience, that that Is a painful time bomb waiting to explode and I do not want to be hit with any harsh fragments that have come from that. A lifetime of that has  been enough.

I have recognised there are a lot of people who are no longer in my life as a consequence to these parameters which has brought with it an insurmountable amount of grief But I now recognise my own true authentic self, my values and how valuable I am enough to walk away from situations or people that don’t make me feel good most of the time.