Boundaries

 If doing what a person wants you to do to feel "seen" requires  you to abandon yourself in the process, then that's  a misalignment of values and/or expectations and boundaries need to be established. 

What you determine as unreasonable behaviour will help you communicate what you will and will not tolerate in order to establish boundaries.

Your communication of boundaries are your responsibility.

An example of a boundary could be as simple as not wanting to text multiple times a day to not allowing disrespectful communication such as insulting. 

It could be something contraversial like public displays of affection with a romantic partner. When one person has a value that misaligns with another, for example if one likes public displays of affection and the other doesn't, then we have to consider how much we are abandoning ourselves and our own values to please the other. A compromise is when we please the other but only to the extent where we are not abandoning ourselves entirely. One may choose to hold hands in public but the established boundary could be not to kiss in public. 

If boundaries are consistently disrespected, there needs to be consequences. Not to punish, but for you to do what you have to do to feel safe. 

Feeling safe in any relationship is paramount to having a healthy and sustainable relationship. 

A relationship breaks down when a person within the relationship is continuously abandoning themselves to maintain the relationship or/and when boundaries are constantly disrespected