Happy anniversary

 3 years ago I married the love of my life -my life at that point anyway. It's not been an easy ride coming away from that but it's been necessary. I now know that all the bad that has happened, it's happened for my greater good and for a new and better life that I am trying to build.  I have not a single regret. My wedding day still is one of the best days of my life. It was a magical day filled with love, celebration and togetherness. A meeting of 2 families that I will always cherish. 


So today, rather than celebrating an anniversary I am celebrating gratitude and peace. 

I am grateful for all of the abundance I had in my life, for all of the joy and love those chapters of my life had brought and I am especially grateful for Oscar bear. Because he is the reason it all happened. 


Today might be the last time I am aware of another passing anniversary. Next year It might be a feeling of indifference...


I love and accept this stage in my journey as I have come to accept all stages.


I make a conscious effort now to eliminate the words "I should..." From my mind, in the context of being more or less than who I am presently, where I am in my self growth, where I am in my career, who I am as a mother, daughter, sister etc because the thing about having the rug pulled from under you is that you gain a sense of peace and love for yourself for who you are right now that you never have before.


I was an explorer, an adventurer but I often felt like I didn't matter. 


Sometimes these big hard slaps in life wake you up enough to face your demons. The demons under the surface that we often deny and hide from because of shame and the pain of undertaking that journey are too hard.


But for me, ignoring my demons was harder.


So im grateful Because the journey WAS hard but it was also amazing and the slap woke me up enough to see myself and life through a new and brighter and more colorful lens...hey I'm an artist. How did that happen?


This is my journey now and it's hard. I'm skint and I work stupid hours and I still make no money because the money I get from commissions pays for me to replenish my materials, pays my rent at the gallery...


I have paint stains everywhere, my skin, my clothes, the house, the pavement...


But it's mine. I'm my own boss. I'm my own true authentic self.


I'm creative, I'm expressive, I am loving who I am a bit more every day. I make a conscious effort to love and accept the worser parts of myself


And that is priceless 









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